The world of the counselors maintains its existence on the foundation of a lie from the devil, that man must have a proper self-esteem or worthiness to function "normally" in society. Because of the fallen nature of man, their theory appears to be true and when they have finished their "brain-washing," there appears to be healing of the individual. I say appears because when we take a closer look what we find is a person who is even more self-centered than when they began therapy.

I received a note from a lady in Scotland whom I have been attempting to help restore her marriage and family through E-mail. She said that her therapist could not understand how she could even consider reconciliation with this man, and it was an indication of low self-esteem. She proceeded to recommend to the lady that she enter into a year of intense (3 times weekly) group therapy to help her gain the proper perspective and to "get over" this fixation on this being the only man she could make a life with.

The problem that caused the rift in the marriage which this counselor finds so dreadful there can only be one solution? The man is disrespectful and demands his own way in everything. In other words he has an inflated sense of self, and believes his is the only correct way to do anything. The same end the same counselor now wants to involve this lady in group therapy to reach. Go figure! I know one thing, if even one person with such an inflated sense of self ruins a marriage, we will have nothing but a bloody battlefield where two attempt to live together, not the love, peace, and tranquility we all desire in our homes.

It is rather hard to present this without graphic aids, however I shall attempt to show you the results of this by having you do this exercise: Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a cross on it. Label the upright or vertical line "self." Label the horizontal line "others." Write the word "self-inflation" at the top of the vertical line and "self-deflation" at the bottom of it. On the left end of the horizontal line write "other inflation" and on the right end of the line write "other deflation." The center of the cross represents the creation of man and the condition of perfect perception of self and other which existed in the Garden of Eden prior to the fall of mankind. Here we find the couple were naked and not ashamed, or there was an innocence that sin has distorted. Thus the closer we can return to the perfection of the garden, which we can only do in Christ, the more "Christ-like" or perfect our whole person is. We have thus divided human personality into four quarters whereby how far out in either direction on the horizontal line added to how far up or down the vertical line will place us into a given quarter of the chart. In these quarters we can write every identified and named "mental" condition faced by mankind. Obviously then if we over lay this cross with a set of circles we can see the progression into deeper "mental disorders" the secular therapists attempts to heal by bringing out our true self-worth. Their answers do not work and to a person they end relying on "mind-altering" drugs, though they deny such, to accomplish the goal of making people "aware" of self and placing a proper perspective on their place in life. How can they correct what they do not understand? The only answer is Jesus Christ. Yet even those in this field who proclaim themselves to be Christian, cannot see self-esteem isn’t the problem nor answer, but how we relate to Jesus Christ.

Thus it is written that apart from Christ we can do nothing, but in Christ we can do all things, through Christ who strengthens us. We are not self-made, nor self-sustaining. We are created in the image of God and God does care about us, so much so He has numbered the very hairs of our heads. The Bible says we can cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us.

When we have understood the mind of Christ, and that being a servant isn’t the bottom of the ladder as man would have us believe, we can begin to return to that perfection of personality that existed in the beginning. The only route back home isn’t through the city of self-esteem, but the city of God, that one not made with hands that is eternal in the heavens. We are citizens of heaven passing through this temporal life as pilgrims on our way home. We will not reach that final destination in this life, but we can make progress toward the finish line by living as Christ has commanded us to do. We will only be perfect or mature when Christ returns for us. This means that at any given moment that by the best there is in us, we are somewhere inside that first circle of the overlay, and depending how we feel about self combined with opinion of others we can find which quarter we reside in today. This is the exact same thing Paul talks about with there being evil always present because everywhere that he goes his flesh goes with him, and in the flesh resides the will of the creature.

Understanding who and what we are in God’s sight will bring the proper persepective to life and leave us satisfied with self and able to cope with life without the mechanical aid nor intervention of outside counselors. God has written His law into our hearts and given us each the ability to use our heads for something other than a hat rack. Here in the family of God we find a place of peace and safety with a freedom sought by all, but ever elusive except for those willing to live by the commands given by Christ. Christ instructs us to live a live of love, peace, and joy. The means to accomplish this being given by God in faith and the ever present guidance of His Holy Spirit. The key to life is found in the Bible, not on the counselor’s couch nor in a bottle.

The rule of love says that we love God above all else and that we love our neighbor as self. God’s love shown to us in His grace toward us demands obedience. Man has never accepted rules well, and it is the abolishing of rules that don’t fit the individual’s concept of the world that the therapist sees as the solution of what is wrong with man. We dare to live this life of love because God first loved us. The accomplishment of the goal being assured by God, not the ability of man to heal self. Love demands that we do what is right, even when it hurts. No secular counselor will ever understand this and would immediately assign all Christians to intense group therapy. The choice is ours, whom will we serve, God or man?

By:  Dr. Chuck Baynard