A. Mary hurried down the hall toward her locker. She left class at the first clang of the bell so she could be ahead of the crowd between change of classes. However the end of the school day was an even bigger problem, she had to put her books away and then hope her mom was in the parking lot waiting when she got outside. Mary was desperately fighting having to carry on a long conversation with anyone. Inside she was torn apart by her desire, no, need to have friends. How often she dreamed about what it would be like to have at least one close friend she could talk to. But, having friends meant getting close and when you got close to people they got nosy. They wanted to know all about you. This would never do because as soon as they found out her father had been in the detox center several times and still drank all the time they wouldn’t be her friend any more. It was better not to make friends than get hurt when they found out your secret and began to give you the cold shoulder.

B. John sat in class waiting for an opportunity to make a smart remark to the next person who left a crack in the door. You had to watch every word around John, he was so good at turning words around, or seeing the wittiest of puns in the most innocent conversation. He seemed to delight in making others feel bad about themselves. John took great pleasure in the fact almost everyone avoided him because they were afraid of what he would say to them, or worse yet do to them. He had an arsenal of practical jokes that could really embarrass people, and often cause deeper hurt. No one knew that John felt dumb and was failing many classes or just squeezing by. John didn’t feel good about himself, and his home life only made things worse. He tried desperately to please his father, but it seemed as if it were impossible to do anything right. The harder he tried the more his dad criticized him and told him how useless he was. John rationalized that if he was fast enough with the barbs and attacked first, no one would find out how dumb he really was.

C. Steve walked down the crowded hall, but never was he pushed, nor for that matter was even touched by another student. The crowds parted to both sides giving him a wide path down the middle. Steve wasn’t the biggest boy in school, nor the most muscular, but many larger boys had been beaten with his rapid blows and precise kicks. Those who perhaps could hold their own or defeat Steve didn’t step up for several reasons. Some for moral reasons, others for fear of the authorities, but most had doubts that they could really take him when the chips were down and did not want to face the embarrassment of having Steve beat them. Steve smiled to himself, no one had dared tease him about his Dad being in jail since he came to this new school. From the first day he hadn’t taken anything from anyone and after taking down a couple of the jocks, he was king around here. Steve was not happy with his lot, but couldn’t think of any other way to get the "respect" of those around him. They respected him in this school!

QUESTIONS – MARY:

1. Does the actions or behavior of our parents determine who we are or how people see us?

2. Would you not be friends with someone because you did not like their parents or what the parents did?

3. Though they go to great lengths to hide it many know about Mary’s problem, and the shame caused by her parent. How might we approach such a person and let them know we care and no matter who, what, or where, we will be there for them?

1. Most of us know people like John. Most of the time the person who is always there with the sharp tongue and ready joke is hiding something behind this behavior. How can we get past the words and behavior to be a friend to this person?

2. How can we get another person, or self for that matter to understand that just because another person says we are something doesn’t make it true? This is especially true when the other person is making us feel so bad about our self.

3. When the person who brings the guilt and hurt is a parent, how do we honor our parents, yet move beyond these hurtful words?

4. How do we please the parent, or other person in control of some part of our life, when they are so negative and it seems we can say or do nothing that pleases them?

1. Is a bully like Steve really so tough?

2. Can we reach someone like Steve and not get physically hurt in the process?

3. How do you approach Steve without getting hurt, or hurting him in the process, either physically or mentally?

1. Should we care and try to reach these who have built walls and false fronts to hide behind?

2. Does the Bible really address issues like this?

3. Dare we tell people like this about Jesus or invite them to our church? Youth group?

Gen. 2:18 As God saw man was not to be alone and created woman, God also created or introduced the concept of family and community to mankind. God has always existed in community, that is more then one person. Thus in the Trinity being one we see the ultimate design for love, peace, and unity for which man was created and given family as the way to experience this unity on earth.

Eph. 4:32 God did not consider us as sinners and unworthy, but from grace alone loved us and sent His Son to die for us. He afterwards commanded us to love our neighbor as our self. Have you ever considered that when you do not love yourself, you cannot keep the second commandment given us by Christ and love your neighbor? Yet we must be careful and not think more of ourselves than we should, and become self-reliant and enter into sin.

Gen. 4:9 The first murderer asked "Am I my brother's keeper?" The command of Christ to love our neighbor would answer yes. We all need to consider the great love and care shown us by God and realize that yes we are our brother’s keeper and should be finding ways to reach the unloved and share with them the love God has given us.